The Night of February --nth

Location: outside -- Mall, Gurgaon
Time: 5:00 PM

Why don't you ask the kids at Tiananmen Square...
... the reason why they were there??

We hear the screech of the tyres and feel the crash before we actually hear it. Our heads spin towards the other side of the road.
A rickshaw.
A woman.
A young boy.
The Qualis screeches away before anyone can move.
People start crowding around and we watch from the other side of the road.
One very high iron fence separates us from the scene and we know- or we tell ourselves we know- that they are being helped out by one of the fifty-odd people standing there, that we can do no good by standing around, that we should stop staring at this tragedy because it is rapidly turning into a travesty.
And yet we stand. And we try to see whether the boy is okay, whether the woman is okay but it's nearly impossible to tell and finally, after an undetermined length of time, we turn to each other.
We know what we need to do.
Snap out of it.

After a few minutes of reassuring each other that they're all right, we return to The Plan.

Dramatis Personae:
Women- N, V, P
Men- K, Stoned, Elvis

N: So... are we heading to Staying Alive?
P: What is it like anyway?
V: Oh, very shady...
K: Good enough for a shady exploit like this!
P: Yeah... it's still light outside... this really is kind of shady. And it's a weekday!
N: Hmmm... we are being rather debauched aren't we?
V: Aren't you always? (cracks a disapproving yet sparkling grin)

P and N look at one another rather sheepishly. K has gone off to buy cigarettes.
The four traipse into Staying Alive at 5:15 PM. The only people there.

Waiter-with-the-Elvis-Presley-Hairstyle: Oh bhenchod, it's a Tuesday! I thought we wouldn't need to work for another few hours. Moronic kids...
Waiter-who-looks-stoned: Erm... yeah........

P: Ooh is that a frickin BIKE in here?
K: Yeah! Isn't that great? It's a K-344567 with 48 GHZ and lots of horsepower and gear-thingies and a kenchunking capacity that even the likes of Ralph Jiggeryhurtz and Jemengen Dyooz would envy!
(ok, that's what it sounded like. I've forgotten the precise details and things)
V and P: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................
N: Hey, this corner table is free! Let's grab it!
V: Ummmm... sweetie, every table is free. Relax.

The four debauchees seat themselves.

K: What are you guys having?
P: Beer.
N: Beer.
V: (peering intently at the menu) Something vegetariannnnn.....
P: Hey! You have to drink!
V: No baba, I really just want to eat something.
N and K and P: Noooo!!! You HAVE to drink!
V: Okayyy....calm down. I'll have a breezer.
(and that ladies and gentlemen, is called Peer Pressure)
K: No, you have to have REAL alcohol.
V: Don't push your luck.
K: Okay, okay. Excuse me!

Waiter-who-looks-stoned comes over to the table (and I'm going to just called him Stoned henceforth).

Stoned: Yes?
K: Okay, we'll have two beers, one breezer and two large vodka shots.
P and N: VODKA SHOTS??
K: (with a withering, silencing look) Yes.
V: Uffff....
Stoned: Sorry, sir? (looks confused)
K: (slowly and articulately) Two beers. One breezer. Two large vodka shots.
Stoned: Which beer sir?
N: Foster's?
P: Okie.
N: (to Stoned) We'll have Foster's.
Stoned: (refusing to look at N or P) So, Foster's, sir?
K: Yes.
Stoned: And... ummm.... ummm..... errrr.... (looks confused)
K: (biting his words out) And. One. Breezer. Which flavour do you want, V?
V: (to Stoned) I want Cranberry.
Stoned: (refusing to look at V) So, Cranberry, sir?
K: Yes.
Stoned: And... (racks his brains) and.... 2 large vodka shots!! (looks at K proudly) Imported or domestic, sir?
K: Smirnoff.
Stoned: Yessir, yessir. Anything else?
N: Yes can we have jacket potatoes with the minced chicken?
Stoned: (addressing K) Sorry sir, we have nothing with potatoes today.
V: What? Oh no! I wanted the vegetarian version of that! Ok, I'll have a vegetarian platter.
P: And we'll have the non-vegetarian platter...?
N: Cool.
Stoned: Of course, sir. (withdraws)

Stoned: Nice chap, that boy.
Elvis: Hmph. With three girls. Looks like a kanhaiya. These girls nowadays... And look at that! Smoking also now... Tsk tsk...

Back at the table...
N: He didn't look at the women once!! What a guy...
P: I know! He was persistently acting as if we didn't exist.

The drinks arrive and so do the platters.
A rapid demolition of both.
More vodka shots. More beer.
The tables spin and the music is louder now.

P: Take it easy babe... I think that's quite enough.
N: Hey... I NEVER get drunk.

Famouslastwords.

Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget

It's a cliche by now, but it's ridiculously true.

By now...complete chaos.

V and P decide to dance, and N and K decide to have a serious conversation.
Then N and V decide to hug each other for about 15 minutes while K and P exchange confidences and then begin to laugh hysterically about something.
Then V decides to message someone furiously and K smokes furiously and N and P talk to each other.
Then N decides to lie down on the sofa in K's lap and V and P start cracking up about something.

Stoned: What the hell is going on?
Elvis: I'm just trying to work out their relationships. Who is the sister, who is the girlfriend... Who are the best friends...
Stoned: Very hard to say. They keep changing partners too quickly.
Elvis: Oh see... that one's started to cry now... They've drunk too much as usual. Stupid youngsters.
Stoned: Arre! The other one's also started off...
Elvis: Now he's holding her...
Stoned: But she's holding someone else...
Elvis: And that one's dancing alone...
Stoned: But now she's gone and she 's holding his hand!
Elvis: I give up.
Stoned: So do I.

Everywhere people stare each and every day
I can see them laugh at me and I hear them say...
Hey, you've got to hide your love away

Holding on.
Conversations. Promises.
Tears. Laughter.
Cigarette burns. The searing taste of vodka.
Holding on.
Give me your hand. Give me your heart.
Let us help.
Please help me.
Love and support.
Holding on.

The bill has been paid but P has not cried yet.

N, V and P go to the bathroom and while V goes inside, P decides to dispense a bit of advice to a very, very drunk N.

P: ........all right then?
N: (very slowly and deliberately) Fuck off.
P: (after a long, long pause) Ummm.... what?
N: Fuck off.
P: Do you mean that?
N: (nods) Fuck. Off.

P bursts into tears and when V comes out, P is nearly inconsolable.

V: Arre baba, you know she didn't mean it.
P: She did.
V: She's sozzled.
P: When people are drunk, they speak the truth.
V: Not always. You know that.
P: (sniffs) I guess so...

P, V and N link arms and walk to the entrance where K is waiting.

K: All good?
V: Of course.
P: Shall we go then?
N: Glug.

Under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me

But we get by, and we get high, with a little help from our friends.
And that's just the way it is.