Be a good girl, they said.
Be quiet.
Be silent.
Raise your hand when you want to say something.
Better yet, say nothing at all.
Don't use swear words.
Your brothers will, of course.
But then, boys will be boys.
You watch your tongue. Hold your tongue. Curb your tongue.
Be a good girl.
Wear your dupatta.
Don't you know only loose girls wear jeans and shorts?
Don't you know only character-less girls wear short skirts?
Don't you know only sluts let their bra straps show, provocatively, while wearing spaghetti tops?
Cross your legs.
Don't spread them - literally and figuratively.
Hold your arms tightly by your sides or cross them across your bosom.
Don't swing them loose and free.
Squeeze yourself into a small box, and stay there.
Be a good girl.
Don't drink.
Don't smoke.
Don't walk alone.
Don't drive alone.
Don't speak to strange men.
Don't smile too openly. You may be misunderstood.
But don't be an ice queen either. Then they will think you frigid. Proud. Arrogant.
Be polite. Be well brought up. Be lady-like. Be nice.
Be a good girl.
Don't argue.
Don't talk back.
If you have opinions, learn to keep them to yourself.
Nobody likes an abrasive girl, you know?
Go along with things.
Compromise.
Adjust.
That's what women do, you know?
They shift, mould, bend.
They chip pieces of themselves away so they can fit with the men in their lives, like jigsaw puzzles.
Don't you know about the rising divorce rates?
It's these girls with their new-fangled notions of independence and careers.
Family comes first.
Go start one now. It's time.
Your ovaries are drying up and it'll soon be too late for you.
Barren-ness awaits.
Be a good girl.
Wear soft make-up.
(Only prostitutes wear red lipstick. And overly smoky eyes mean you're promiscuous.)
But don't look too pretty.
You don't want to give them the wrong idea.
Be willing to smile at movies and shows and videos that demean women.
It's all in good fun, after all.
Just a movie.
Just a show.
Just a video.
No need to get het up.
Enjoy it.
Just don't laugh too loud. (You may giggle coyly though.)
Be a good girl.
Be appropriate.
Be acceptable.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't test the norm, stretch the limits, break new ground.
That's reserved for the men. The adventurers and conquerors.
You be the guardian of tradition, of the solid and the stable, of our collective morals.
When women stray, things fall apart.
We are Atlas, carrying the world on our shoulders.
Don't shrug.
Be the status quo.
Be a good girl.
You were always meant to be the other half.
Someone's daughter, sister, wife, mother.
You are the space inside a rectangle.
Defined by the lines.
These borders give you existence. Without them, who are you?
Don't you go thinking you are one of the lines that make up the shape.
You are the white emptiness inside.
Meant to be shaped.
Be a good girl.
Be Sita.
(But don't be Draupadi, okay? She had the gall to speak out.)
Be Lakshmi.
(But don't be Kali, okay? We worship her but let's face it, strength like that is reserved for fictitious goddesses.)
Be one of those lovely girls in those wonderful soaps with Indian values.
("I don't want to do this. But I will. For my family. For the greater good. To keep the peace. I will sacrifice.")
Adhere to the Lakshman rekhas made by the many Lakshmans in your life.
That will keep you safe. Keep you moral. Keep you where you're supposed to be kept.
You know?
Save us all some trouble.
Just be a good girl.
Be quiet.
Be silent.
Raise your hand when you want to say something.
Better yet, say nothing at all.
Don't use swear words.
Your brothers will, of course.
But then, boys will be boys.
You watch your tongue. Hold your tongue. Curb your tongue.
Be a good girl.
Wear your dupatta.
Don't you know only loose girls wear jeans and shorts?
Don't you know only character-less girls wear short skirts?
Don't you know only sluts let their bra straps show, provocatively, while wearing spaghetti tops?
Cross your legs.
Don't spread them - literally and figuratively.
Hold your arms tightly by your sides or cross them across your bosom.
Don't swing them loose and free.
Squeeze yourself into a small box, and stay there.
Be a good girl.
Don't drink.
Don't smoke.
Don't walk alone.
Don't drive alone.
Don't speak to strange men.
Don't smile too openly. You may be misunderstood.
But don't be an ice queen either. Then they will think you frigid. Proud. Arrogant.
Be polite. Be well brought up. Be lady-like. Be nice.
Be a good girl.
Don't argue.
Don't talk back.
If you have opinions, learn to keep them to yourself.
Nobody likes an abrasive girl, you know?
Go along with things.
Compromise.
Adjust.
That's what women do, you know?
They shift, mould, bend.
They chip pieces of themselves away so they can fit with the men in their lives, like jigsaw puzzles.
Don't you know about the rising divorce rates?
It's these girls with their new-fangled notions of independence and careers.
Family comes first.
Go start one now. It's time.
Your ovaries are drying up and it'll soon be too late for you.
Barren-ness awaits.
Be a good girl.
Wear soft make-up.
(Only prostitutes wear red lipstick. And overly smoky eyes mean you're promiscuous.)
But don't look too pretty.
You don't want to give them the wrong idea.
Be willing to smile at movies and shows and videos that demean women.
It's all in good fun, after all.
Just a movie.
Just a show.
Just a video.
No need to get het up.
Enjoy it.
Just don't laugh too loud. (You may giggle coyly though.)
Be a good girl.
Be appropriate.
Be acceptable.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't test the norm, stretch the limits, break new ground.
That's reserved for the men. The adventurers and conquerors.
You be the guardian of tradition, of the solid and the stable, of our collective morals.
When women stray, things fall apart.
We are Atlas, carrying the world on our shoulders.
Don't shrug.
Be the status quo.
Be a good girl.
You were always meant to be the other half.
Someone's daughter, sister, wife, mother.
You are the space inside a rectangle.
Defined by the lines.
These borders give you existence. Without them, who are you?
Don't you go thinking you are one of the lines that make up the shape.
You are the white emptiness inside.
Meant to be shaped.
Be a good girl.
Be Sita.
(But don't be Draupadi, okay? She had the gall to speak out.)
Be Lakshmi.
(But don't be Kali, okay? We worship her but let's face it, strength like that is reserved for fictitious goddesses.)
Be one of those lovely girls in those wonderful soaps with Indian values.
("I don't want to do this. But I will. For my family. For the greater good. To keep the peace. I will sacrifice.")
Adhere to the Lakshman rekhas made by the many Lakshmans in your life.
That will keep you safe. Keep you moral. Keep you where you're supposed to be kept.
You know?
Save us all some trouble.
Just be a good girl.
