Valentine Confessions

To write about love is... simplistic... reductive... implausible... incorrigible... Irresistible!

Did I really think that something this perfect existed?

Sure. In the same way that someone who has never been outside of the city of their birth believes in foreign lands. But to know it... To taste it every single day... That is a different country altogether... an imaginary homeland, located and conquered.

Am I frightened as I write this?
Hell, yeah.
Scared to death as I consider the possibility of how it will feel to return and read these words in the hypothetical, impossible scenario of 'it's-not-working-out'.

But if there's one thing I have identified about this sunburst it is this: I have never been more vulnerable, or more fearless than I am in this moment in time.
Courage to face what lies ahead... Love across oceans and trudging across the deserts of millions of inevitable dusty hassles... And fragility to the extent that I cannot look beyond this...

For the love... the faith... the dreams...
For making it real, and keeping it real...
Happy valentines darling

And before you ask, of course it had to be a day late.
Delay is our bond.

All you need is time

If it can be broke then it can be fixed
If it can be fused then it can be split
It's all under control
It’s all under control

Are you telling me you don’t revel in your moments of darkness?
Does your depression hold no saving grace?
Is that midnight drink not being stored for future nostalgia?
Can it be that you’re not capering through the hollow years?

I have no fond recollections of the first time I met her… Of the moment that sealed our friendship...

I do however, remember the psychological rollercoaster that we all got into together.

Has someone ever walked up to you, demanding your strength?
Your best friend perhaps?
A lover?
Your sister?
A stranger?

There is a certain charm in being wanted by people when they’re coasting through jaded valleys of grief. And I have seen ridiculous numbers of people lean on her.

My favourite moment is still the same.
A Delhi nightclub… Allegiances are declared, battle-lines are drawn…
And she is victorious simply because you cannot beat sheer nonchalance combined with a complete lack of tact and duplicity.
How much we laughed that night..! Collapsing onto the sofa in the comforting glow of Peach Schnapps and sisterhood.

But…it took its toll, didn’t it?
Every time it happened, they sapped a little more of her strength.
Her eyes were brighter than ever but she was tiring…

Have you ever been tired?
Tired enough to want to never get out of bed?
Tired enough not to care where you wake up the next morning?
Tired enough not to care whether you wake up at all?

Do you enjoy the exhaustion as well?
Chances are it will lead to a renaissance after all…?
Maybe… Maybe not…
Sometimes it’s just too hard to find your way out of a maze of diamonds, dust and demons.

I’ve got to take it on the other side

You will, you know. Find your way that is. Some people get lost. But you won’t.

You’re stronger than you know.
Oh I know you’re already tiring.
Your voice is your disguise.
Your deception is your armour.
Distance…your weapon?
Against…us?

It’s time to come home.
Come home to the hugs.
Come home to the love.
Come home to the music.
Come home to the dancing.
Come home to darkness, and to light…

Being a little tired is better than being nothing at all.

Come home, and we will do it differently this time round.

If it can be lost then it can be won
If it can be touched then it can be turned
All you need is time
All you need is time